Lost Hope
by ChibiSin
Summary: With Naruto's decision to become the greatest Hokage comes new struggles that Naruto can only weather alone.
1. Chapter 1

A.N. First story ever and writing generally takes me a while so may be a bit of time between updates

Lost Hope

Edit: Standard Disclaimer don't own story's non-OC's, not including this in later chapters because I'm not going to spontaneously own anything in this story other then the OC's

* * *

A young Naruto of eight years is running through a tall dark forest. The early evening sun is peaking through the canopy of the trees above as he runs deeper and deeper into the forest trying to get as far awayfrom Konoha as possible. As Naruto runs he is haunted by images of the hateful stares from the people of Konoha.

'What did I do to them? People I've never even met before look at me like I'm some kind of monster.'

Naruto keeps running until he finds a very large old tree. Deciding he'd run far enough away from the village he hides under the giant roots of the tree. Sitting down on the ground out of sight he is once again haunted by the eyes of the people.

'What'd I do?!' His shoulders slump 'Why do they always look down at me with those eyes?'

Naruto sits under the tree and thinks to himself for hours until the biting cold of night stirs him from his thoughts. Yet still he finds himself no closer to the answer that has eluded him throughout his childhood. Naruto takes out his frustration on the tree with a punch. Unfortunantly nothing was held back in the punch and Naruto only succeeded in hurting his hand. Naruto loosely grips his balled up hand and attempts to nurse the pain. A rustling above him distracts Naruto and he forgets about the pain. He looks up just in time to see a book falling out of the darkness of the tree above him.

"A book?" 'What's a book doing out here? Did somebody leave it out here? Does that mean that right now someone could be looking for this book? Would they be grateful if I found it for them? Maybe they'd be mad at me like the other villagers are.'

Naruto is too distracted by thoughts of what a books is doing out in the middle of a forest that he fails to realize the books heading right at him and it ends up catching him in the forehead.

"Gaahh" yells Naruto as he topples over onto his back. The book falls next to him and lands opened to a random page.

"Stupid book" grumbles Naruto as he sits up and rubs his forehead. Naruto glares down at the book but opens his eyes slightly when he sees the page the book opened to.

"It's blank?" asks Naruto in confusion. As these words leave Narutos lips a cold breeze blows through the tree chilling naruto to the bone. It was getting late and he had school tomorrow so Naruto picked up the book and ran towards Konoha. He'd find the owner of the book tomorrow after school and after he'd had a chance to read through it some.

* * *

Naruto could hardly wait as he watched the clock count down to the final bell. He'd been so excited about getting home and reading the book that he hadn't said a word all day as he just watched the clock. They wouldn't let him inside the library so he never got to read many books other then school textbooks (which he found boring) or the overly-priced training scrolls he'd buy but with how expensive those were they far and too few to keep him busy.

At the sound of the bell Naruto was running out the door and he made it home in record time. Usually Naruto took his time and even tried to delay himself from going home because he knew that all there was waiting for him was an empty house. Today however he had a book that he couldn't wait to look at and that gave him something to look forward to.

Closing the door he entered his apartment and pulled the book off a counter. Sitting down on his bed Naruto examined the cover of the book. It was crimson with small gold designs over the cover. One design in particular looked like it bleed down off the cover and when he turned the book on it's side he saw that the gold also covered the edge of the pages. Though the designs were interesting the book didn't have a title on the front cover or the spine. Thinking that the title might be inside the book Naruto opened the book to it's first page.

"This can't be."

The page was blank. He turned the page and found another blank page. Naruto kept turning pages and was always met with a new blank page. He started to frantically sift through the book hoping to find something.

'Come on there has to be something in it. No one would make such an elaborate cover and spine just to leave the book empty.'

As Naruto turned a page his finger slipped and the page cut his finger. He jerked his hand back but not before a drop of blood fell on the page. As Naruto nursed his cut finger he looked down at the drop of blood on the page. He was about to berate himself for getting blood on a clean new looking book when the blood seeped into the page disappearing into the page. Seconds after the blood disappeared words started to form on the page like a veil of wax was melting away leaving the newly formed pages open to his eyes. Naruto turned the page and found more words and sketches. Closing the book and opening it to the first page again Naruto read the only words present on the page.

"Namikaze Minato ... Who's that?"

Naruto turns the page and sees what looks like a small journal entry. The entry was short and to the point.

'_We started our genin teams today. Ero-Sensei showed up late because he was caught peeping._'

Looking over Naruto noticed the date of the entry and was very surprised.

"This entry was written almost two decades ago. What was this book doing in the forest?"

Naruto decided that since the book was so old it was probably lost several years ago and was never found so it would be pointless to try and find the owner, this Minato Namikaze. So instead of spending the rest of the day trying to find the owner Naruto sat in his bed reading the journal of the man he would soon begin to admire. He read about Minato's first missions, the chunin exams, and the training he went through during his time as a genin.

* * *

Naruto woke to the sound of birds chirping. He rolled over and tried to fall back asleep but it was no use he was already up and would stay that way for the rest of the day. Getting out of bed Naruto started to boil some water, took a shower, and was out in time to eat his cup ramen before he had to leave for school. As he was about to leave the book caught his eye and he decided to bring it with him. Naruto emptied out a kunai pouch and set the book and a scroll in it before leaving for school.

Arriving early Naruto decides to read more of the book as he waits outside the school building. He turns to his page from last night and continues reading.

'_Today I finally used the Flying Thunder God. It took months to develope it and will take even more months if not years to perfect it._'

Below this entry was a description of the Flying Thunder God as well as an explaination of how it worked. Naruto copied it down on the scroll with the rest of Minato's techniques and training methods. Silently Naruto vowed to himself that he'd both perfect and improve each technique and training method. Maybe then the village would see how great he was and then they'd have no choice but to acknowledge his existance.

"They all look so hard... and the hardest thing we're learning is Henge. How am I supposed to learn these techniques?" 'Oh well there's no way it would be easy or else it wouldn't be enough to earn recognition. I'll just have to try my hardest. I don't know who you are Minato Namikaze but look out because I won't stop till I've surpassed you.' Other kids start showing up and Naruto decides he should read the book later so people won't ask questions about it.

* * *

5 weeks later

For the past five weeks Naruto had continued to read the book and he was reaching the end. Tonight would be the night he finished the book and he was both excited and sad that the book would be ending. He couldn't wait to finish the book but at the same time he'd been reading the entries of this journal for a long time and he would miss having new entries to read. Naruto could tell that Minato was a man of many strong ambitions. He was the kind of man Naruto wanted to grow up to be.

Naruto was reaching the end of the book and these newer entries were dated around twelve years ago. Naruto could think of two men that were old enough to have met Minato (and talk to Naruto, the other villagers would shun him and his questions) Oyaji and Iruka-Sensei. Oyaji would be too busy with paperwork so that left Iruka-Sensei as his only choice.

* * *

"Remember class, this years exams are in three weeks so train hard to be ready for the exams." Iruka reminded his class. Iruka was about to dismiss his class when a raised hand got his attention "Naruto."

"You've lived in this village your entire life right?" Asked Naruto "Yes," was Iruka's reply "why do you ask?" "If you've lived here that long then you'd know a lot of people, right?" "Yes, where are you going with this Naruto?" asks Iruka.

Naruto asks "Who's Minato Namikaze?"

"Minato? He hasn't been called by his real name in a long time," Naruto gives Iruka a confused look before Iruka continues "Minato 'The Yellow Flash of Konoha' Namikaze was the one and only Yondaime Hokage." Naruto is shocked speachless.

'The Yondaime Hokage?! The journal I've been reading for the past five weeks was the journal of the Fourth Hokage?'

Iruka stared at Naruto's shocked expression 'What's gotten into him?' "Naruto? Is there something you want to tell me? Like why you asked me about that name and why you look so surprised."

Naruto wiped the surprised expression from his face and gave Iruka a nervous laugh while he scratched the back of his head "No, just curious. Don't even remember where I heard the name Iruka-Sensei."

Before Iruka could ask anymore questions the bell rang signaling the end of class and Naruto was already out the door. Naruto ran as fast as he could and didn't stop until he was in his apartment with the door shut and locked. Naruto turned away from the door and his eyes fell on the book lying on his bed.

'This is the Fourth Hokages'? No wonder I admired Minato so much. It takes a man of great ambition to become Hokage. That's why I'll follow in his footsteps. No, I can't just follow in his footsteps or I'll only be seen as his shadow. If I'm going to make the people of this village acknowledge my existance I'll have to be greater then Minato. Greater then all the previous Hokages. This will by my ambition, and I'll never let this ambition of mine die.' Naruto declared to himself with a fire of new found passion in his eyes. He would exceed all the hokages that came befor ehim there'd be no questions about it.

Naruto looked at the book and with shaky fingers opened it. He couldn't hide the excitement he felt and since he was alone he saw no need to. Naruto turned to the last entry of the book. The entries had been getting longer with time and this last entry was the longest entry yet.

'_ Things don't always turn out how you planned them. I wanted to do more for my village before I died but it seems fate has other plans. It's a cruel fate that the joyous day of my sons birth will also be the sad day of the Kyuubi's attack and my demise. My final act as Hokage will be to forfeit my soul to seal the Kyuubi's. A trained ninjas' chackra system is too developed to house the Kyuubis' soul without conflict so I'll have to seal him within a new and undeveloped body. I will use my first and only born son as the vessel. It is my dream, my hope, and my dying wish that the people of Konoha will see my son as a hero for the great sacrifice that will be made of him. As I write this I'm holding my son for the first and last time. His mother died giving birth to him so I'll be leaving him all alone when I die. If you are reading this son I'm sorry. All I can do is beg for your forgiveness; That I wasn't there to raise you myself will be a punishment of its own for me, but not enough to reprimand the lonely childhood I'll leave you with._'

Naruto stared at the book in shock and distress 'How sad, Minato made such a painful sacrifice. But worse, if his son had become a hero then everyone would know about him but since no one talks about him when they talk about the fourth that means the village didn't view the child as a hero. The very village Minato sacrificed himself for denied him his dying wish.' Naruto swore to himself that he'd find Minato's son and make Minato's dying wish come true.

"Such a great man. It will be hard to become a greater Hokage then him if not impossible., but I won't quit till I've surpassed him as the next great Hokage!" With that said Naruto opened his scroll of notes and began training. He had three weeks to prepare for the exam.

* * *

Later that night realization set in Naruto's mind about the serious nature of his declaration. The Fourth was a genius among geniuses and while not impossible it'd be close to it to outdo him. He would need a mentor and if he couldn't find himself one he'd have to teach himself everything he needed to become a great ninja and there was no way of knowing what skills were essential and even where to find information on these skills without access to the library. With all of this weighing down heavy on his shoulders he shrugged them as if it'd somehow alleviate the weight. Suddenly it dawn on him that none of this mattered he was Uzumaki Naruto and his very existence was a storybook of struggle and he'd be damned if his dreams would be easy. He fell asleep to the comforting thought that he'd already be working under familiar terms.

He woke early that morning and decided he'd need help to reach his dreams and without knowing what he was looking for he left his house in search of the unknown.


	2. Chapter 2

(note: I've decided to try writing with different voices I like this one so I might stick with it. It's a very odd combination and you'll know just how much I like it if the next chapter is written in the same voice.)

* * *

As is a customary end to searches without any clear goal or objective we find our lovable protagonist at the end of his search and still empty handed. By now he has searched high and low in town and reached the outskirts near the walls. Without so much as a clue as to what he's looking for it would be hard to find any help for the time being. 

On his way home he is confronted by an old man but ducks away and takes a different path through an alley circumventing any confrontations or plots that could have developed from such a situation. However, he could not pass up a chance for ramen and so we find him on a lunch break from his musings about his direction in life which are filled with many odd tangents and are at the moment not important to the story.

Somewhere between beginning and end of his third bowl our hero decides that he will consult the journal for any clues as to what he should do next.His next move decided he paid for his meal and left the stand grinning and waving like an idiot to the stand owner, who after checking and double checking the nutritional value of his product was still baffled the kid lived off of it.

Back with the misguided boy with good intentions he's walking home and manages to make it there without any altercations with the locals. As of late he's managed to quell any outward physical hostilities the villagers tend to express towards him by taking every chance to remind them with his physical prowess that they are no longer of any use as he can outmaneuver the average and most of the above average citizen. Upon reaching and entering his abode he looks around to find everything in its place proper and the book waiting for him on a counter. It was then that it occurred to him that he should stop leaving the book out in plain sight where any trespasser could just walk off with it.

Naruto(A/N I feel like using his name every now and then.) opens the book and skims through it searching for anything that'd be of use to him. Upon finding nothing other then the training tips and exercises he had already recorded he is nudged into despair as the sad truth that there would be no help for the time being makes itself apparent to him. He shakes his head clearing it of such sad thoughts and decides then then was as good a time as any to begin his training for the day. Hiding the journal in a secret location that's so secret he wouldn't even want the reader to know about he pockets his scroll of training techniques and is out the door

* * *

Today he had decided he would be working on his chakra, because as nice as it was to pummel people into the ground with superior strength he understood that chakra would make his life as a ninja just that much easier. For the past 5 weeks he'd been exercising every day sometimes late into the night and as a result his stores of chakra had made a considerable jump. Searching the scroll he finds various techniques for strengthening and fine-tuning chakra but all of them looked very advanced and at the moment he had no semblance of chakra control what-so-ever and the idea of his own chakra ripping him to shreds was an unappealing one. He finally settles on the only training technique that seems doable for him. 

A series of varying sets of seals that you write on the body. It sounded easy enough because the first set only required chakra and didn't need any control though it'd be teaching him control. It gave him some warnings about not being for novices and neophytes but he played it off reasoning that he'd been training for two years now and was sure he'd have some idea of what he'd be doing. The first and most obvious obstacle was that he didn't have ink of any sort to graph with. After some deliberation on this issue he decided he'd use blood as the seal was small so he'd only need a small amount. Taking great care he used his thumb to roughly sketch the design found on the scroll and prepared to channel chakra through the seal. Whether it was good luck or just less bad luck then usual the force of his chakra repelling him back saved him from the resulting explosion as he channeled a large amount of chakra through the faulty seal which simply converted it to give it a volatile nature and quickly expelled it causing a large explosion on the tree in front of him. He'd find out weeks from now that blood is highly potent for seal-making as chakra is constantly surrounding and penetrating it making it highly receptive its owners chakra.

A little worse for wear Naruto is able to limp over and collect his scroll before limping off further into the forest. Soon after he left the field the ANBU arrived to find nothing but the charred remains of a tree and a set of small tracks. After following they find Naruto training hard in a new clearing and decide to just pass it off as a flopped katon attempt. Deciding that he'd probably learn his lesson the first if not the second time they left him in his new field without so much as a warning about the dangers of his behaviors. The young were born to make mistakes.

After a warmup to help him clear his mind Naruto was back to attacking the scroll for information. He scoured the seals illustration but could glean no further details from it and decided to simply practice the seal in verbatim until he could do it in his sleep where he'd wake up to find it written all over his walls, and it'd again be in blood cause he had no ink that he could reach in his sleep, and seconds after waking up his anemic state would cause ataxia and he'd fall back down on his bed and swear off seals for the rest of his life if he lived to see it. Shaking his head to clear it of that tangent he heads home but decides to go see old man hokage first, he wanted to know more about these seals.

* * *

It was the precious few moments of peace that kept him going. The constant lull of a village free from war if only for a moment still gave an aura of peace that permeated the walls and windows of the city and sunk into its very roots. It was this peace and the momentary peace he received from the breaks in his frantic job that kept the sandaime hokage going. If not for breaks from paperwork the stress of his job would have claimed him years ago after claiming the lives of both of his predecessors. Meanwhile the sad truth is that moments like these were not meant to last and would always have to come to an end. 

Just as Sarutobi was pondering such thoughts the door to his office burst open courtesy of one Uzumaki Naruto who was at the moment followed closely by his assistant.

"Excuse my mistake Hokage-sama, he just came running out of nowhere and before I could do anything he had slipped by me."

"That's quite alright I was just on my break. I'd be happy to give audience to the boy." replies Sarutobi waving off the comment with his left hand.

"If that is your will Hokage-sama." Is his secretaries reply as she bows before leaving him alone with Naruto.

"sigh They're demeanor always makes me feel just that much older," he complains before motioning towards a chair conveniently placed by his desk "So, sit down sit down, why have you come to see me Naruto?" he asks lifting the edge of his hat that had fallen lax in his moment of relaxation.

"I had a few questions I was hoping you could answer." says Naruto coyly poking his index fingers together.

"Then by all means ask them. A man of my position does not come by much free time and if you are to stall then you lose what little time you have to talk to me."

"Ok... I was wondering... if you knew anything... about seals." chokes out Naruto. He was sure that if the other adults were to catch word that he was asking about such things they might put two and two together and start making his life harder.

"Of course, every hokage should know about them to some extent. One of my very own students went on to train in seals and is considered an expert in the field." Sarutobi revels in Narutos shy behavior. Not to be mean of course, but to see such childish behavior in him was a comforting thought that perhaps the boy hadn't been robbed entirely of his childhood.

"Wow!" exclaims Naruto all nervous tension forgotten "Then I'm sure you could answer these questions!" he begins to hop up and down in his seat bubbling with excitement.

Sarutobi chuckles laying a hand on Naruto's head which calms the boy to some extent.

"Your enthusiasm is admirable but best left to matters of the heart for now try to calm yourself and tell me exactly what it is you want to know about seals."

"First, I was wondering about the ink, where do you get it?" Naruto really didn't like the idea of having to use his blood every time he wrote a seal and would try to stay clear of doing that again.

"Well the most obvious answer would be in a store though I'm sure that's not the answer you were looking for." his suspicions are confirmed by the young boys cringe. After a moment of silence and serious thought he comes to a decision.

"There are other ways," begins Sarutobi catching Naruto's attention "in this village there is a book. In this book are the ways and methods of seals. Generation after generation have read this book and generation after generation have pooled there experience into this one book. The last owner of this book died quite a few years ago and since then no one with the proper spirit for this kind of work has stepped forward. I think you could do it; I think you would do a fine job of expanding the book."

The initial enthusiasm that colored Naruto's face faded upon hearing this and he once again looked downtrodden.

"That sounds like a very big job. I don't know if I could do something like that. You say that book is the work of so many people, would it be right if I were to mess it up and ruin their hard work?" asks Naruto. Sarutobi is startled at first, he was expecting a more enthusiastic answer, or a more childish and naive answer, but what he got disturbed him to some degree. The boy thought too far ahead and behind for someone of his age. Later on this would make a fine trait but for a child to be so worried about the consequences their lives have on others was a startling and dreary concept.

Regaining his train of thought Sarutobi replies "Does this mean you would quit halfway?"

"No, quitting is not the problem. I don't know why you even ask." says Naruto.

"If you were to read this book you would find mistakes, you would find failed experiments, and you would find problems made too complex for all but the writer to solve. Among all this however, you would find answers, all of these pages have been appended by the ones who wrote them and do you know why that is?" asks Sarutobi a hint of a smile playing across his face.

"Because they figure it out later?" is Naruto's hesitant response.

"Yes, they solve the problems and go back to write them in. This is not because the answer eludes them until one day it dawns on them. No, this is because they work to find these answers. Once they began none of them stopped until they had an answer even if the answer required answering more questions. Now I ask you, why do I ask for such a task from you? Keep in mind that there have been many people before you that came to me and volunteered themselves for this task and I have turned them all down."

Naruto pauses in thought for a minute or two before asking "Is it because I'm stubborn?" he recoils when Sarutobi begins to laugh which soon dies down to a light chuckle.

"No, the others were stubborn too. Some would hound me for days hoping that I'd give them the book."

"I'm confused then, what is it?"

"It's your will." Sarutobi says with conviction.

"My will?" asks Naruto.

"Yes, your will is that of fire. Focused and ever-growing, I know that you would complete this task if I gave it to you."

"Oh, I still don't get it." says a confused Naruto.

"Do not worry Naruto I didn't expect you to understand just yet. Now this is very important Naruto do you trust me?" asks Sarutobi.

"Yes, you're a lot nicer then the other adults and thoughts of you are comforting."

"Good then I hope you will believe me when I say this is in your best interests." that being said he reached under his desk and pulled out a large leather bound book. He hands it to Naruto and then tells him it's time that he left.

"One word of warning though, this book is dangerous. Not just reading it but just possessing it can be potentially fatal for you. I'll do what I can to look over you and that book but if you are to lose it or if at any time it is damaged while under your care then I will have no choice but to defer to the will of the council. If you ruin or lose that book you will be executed as my hands will be tied in the matter. Guard it with your life Naruto."

These are the words that Sarutobi leaves Naruto with before turning around to stare out at the village. He didn't have much time left until an assistant would show with a new batch of paperwork and he wanted to spend what little free time he had watching over the peaceful village.

* * *

Well there it is finally got around to finishing this chapter . I was very bored and might have slipped a few times with the new voice but oh well I find it quite interesting : 3 


End file.
